Product reviews for Sex and Love at Midlife

The keys to being a good lover, asserts sex therapist Bernie Zilbergeld, have little to do with age and everything to do with attitude and communication. In Better Than Ever: Love and Sex at Midlife (Crown House, $21.95), he makes a convincing case that a good sex life can make the years beyond 45 the most enriching. Zilbergeld died before the book went to press. While the editing and proofreading could have elevated the work, it's still a strong legacy to leave behind. He explodes myths about aging and sex, as well as excuses

couples give for their lack of vibrant intimacy. His research demonstrates that body changes and medical issues need not diminish anyone's capacity or enjoyment of sex and notes that older couples take more time during lovemaking and put their partner's pleasure above their own.

Especially effective are excerpts from his extensive interviews with individuals and couples who range in age from the 40s to the 80s. Connection in the bedroom, Zilbergeld says, flows out of intimacy in other aspects of the relationship. Scorecards not necessary: "Good sex has nothing do with performance. Good sex has to do with expressing feelings and sharing pleasure and delight.