Product reviews for Sex and Love at Midlife

This excellent book is about the sexuality of older people or -˜matures' as Zilbergeld calls them. He has interviewed a range of couples and single people about their sexual experiences in later life and places couples into two categories -˜Lovers' and -˜Non Lovers'. Non Lovers have poor sex lives, other aspects of their relationship may be good or poor, whilst Lovers have good sexual relationships and usually the rest of their relationship is good. Zilbergeld is aware that his sample is not a representative cross section of the population, however he feels able to come to some interesting conclusions about the differences between the two groups. His conclusions will not really come as a surprise to Relate counsellors and therapists. The common feature amongst Non Lovers is their inability to communicate about sex, they cannot tell each other what they like or discuss sexual problems if they arise. Not surprisingly Lovers are able to communicate well about sex. They are also good problem solvers who do not blame each other for problems that arise but look for solutions and are capable of being flexible in their approach to life. The book gives a realistic account of the problems, particularly health problems, that people can face as they get older and Zilbergeld makes it clear that people in his Lovers category have just as many of these problems as Non Lovers but they tackle them a different way.

Easy to read, the optimistic tone of Sex & Love at Midlife: It's Better Than Ever made it enjoyable for this -˜mature' reader. It is one of those rare books that counsellors and therapists can learn from and so can their clients.



A valuable contribution to our understanding of sex and relationships in older couples. Full of useful insights for couples and therapists. Excellent at debunking the myths about sex and aging.